It's a Comedy, Right?
by midnightrider.009
Summary: Flyk Jewels is a pint-sized, foul mouthed weapon, who just so happens to have grown up in an area where there aren't any meisters or weapons! When Maka and Soul come along, what will happen when she is introduced to as Crona's new partner? P.S. Crona IS a boy in this, don't like don't read.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

How to Deal with Crona for Dummies

I am not a person who likes to be mocked. No. Not at all. In fact, it used to be me who did the mocking, granted, from a unique position curled on the ground in a quiet voice- BUT! I still mocked them. And I mocked them good.

So, explain to me, why am I being mocked now?

"Look at the shrimp, he doesn't even look human, the freak. Beat 'im up, boys!" First of all, I'm a _girl_. You hear that? _Girl_. G-I-R-L. As in, a species most commonly associated with the weaker, _more_ _fragile_ part of the human race. Sure, this _girl_ may have kinda-sorta beatenupthegangsbossman-BUT! That doesn't mean gender accusation is in order!

…

…

What the hell. I'll kick their ass.

"I'm a freakin' GIRL!" I calmly kick ass. Very calmly- "DIE, SCUM!" – in fact. "YOU ROTTEN PIECE OF LLAMA FLEM!" – I look like a professional- "I RULE OVER YA'LL!"

Can't you see?

OOOOOOoooooOOOOOO

"This is the fifth time, Flyk. You really should stop this at once, or I'll be forced to expel you," My teacher wasn't the kindest of ladies. To expel ME of all people, how rude! Okay, I admit, it was a little deserved, so I took mercy that one time.

"Yes, Mrs. Henhouse," I muttered. She hit me over the head with the ruler.

"It's Hennis!" She yelled, "Not Henhouse!"

"Yes, Mrs. Hennis,"

"Good," She pointed me back over to my seat, "Now sit,"

"_Woolf_ _woolf_,"

I glared at her openly. I walked back over to my seat, plopping down and staring out the window. God, I hated this place. Boarding School was boring. Only bookworms could like it. I mean, what's so stimulating about a giant grey building with a bunch of snotnose brats who are trying to 'further their education,' ?

It was kinda like a prison for preteens. Maybe I should escape. Yeah. That sounds good.

Ding!

Ladies and Gents, that was called a lightbulb moment.

"Flyk, please read from page 189- FLYKA GREEN JEWLES WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Yes, teachers have this annoying habit of yelling when they see a student about to jump through a window. I don't know why they do, maybe it's just instinct for their species.

"Relax, Henhouse, I'm not suicidal," I pushed open the window, looking down. Not such a long drop. Maybe I could make it.

"Flyk you get back here this instant or I swear I'll…" She growled. I turned back to her, smiling.

"Or what? Push me?"

I let my body fall out the window, carefully timing my descent. It's not like I would have to hide it from them, I'll be gone soon enough. Might as well give them a show at the end.

"Three…two…one…GO!" I always had this neat little trick I could do, cool right? Here it is:

Step one: My arm turns into a dagger.

Step two: My other arm turns into a dagger.

Step three: Use them as stilts, and up and over we go!

"Yahoo!" I propelled myself over the boarding school's edge. _Goodbye_, I thought.

_And good riddance._

OOOOOOoooooOOOOOO

I would describe myself as a lucky person most of the time. At least I was born. I consider that pretty lucky.

But now, my luck was all gone. And it didn't even have mayo.

"C-Can't I have one more sandwich, pwease?" First step of being Flyk: The cute act does not work.

The cashier sighed and looked at me tiredly, "Look, you're a sweet boy and all," I am a _**girl**_, "Hun, but we, like every other restaurant in the U.S., Don't. Give. Food. For. Free." She clicked on her little box of doom, "That'll be ten-ninety-eight, please," By now my anime tears were apparent.

I had been defeated. By a box. And I don't like it.

I mercifully decided to let the box (some called it a register, whatever,) live for a while longer. I'm just cool like that.

When I walked out of the McDonalds', I had to duck my head back under my hood to avoid the stares of the entire crowd walking by me. No, they weren't staring at my abnormal shortitude, (it IS a word,) they were staring at my hair. My hair. The blue stuff growing out of my head. H-A-I-R.

"Oh get a life, people," I muttered to myself. Okay, I had blue hair. Alert the media! And no, it wasn't dyed. As to queue Lady Gaga: I _was_ born this way. Blue hair, and dark, almost chocolate skin, that was me, baby. Of course, I was adorable (says the old lady who lives next to the school, that's right haters,) but my eyes were creepy. I hated them. Maroon eyes. They scared the living shit out of me.

And my living shit likes staying inside, thank you very much.

The large crowd finally moved past me, and by then I was starting to wonder what it would be like if I suddenly turn my arms back into daggers. Would they scream? Probably. I would too if I saw a midget with sharp things.

"I'm telling you Soul, he's over here!" A voice came out from the alleyway I just passed. I walked right past it. Now, you know that I didn't stay there of course; my brain took a while to process what an awesome name _Soul_ was. Then I backed up.

"Maka, this is the fifth time we've searched here. It's totally uncool to be repetitive," A lower voice responded. Yeah, he sounded _real_ smart.

A scoff was heard, "You don't even know what repetitive means,"

"Course I do, it's when you sneeze at that pollen stuff a lot,"

"That's _hypersensitive_, dummy!"

"Tch. I know that,"

"Maka Chop!"

Whoever this girl was, I now admired her. And my admiration is a very hard-to-get item. In fact, once, I considered selling it for high profit. It didn't work.

The two continued bickering for a while. I know it's rude to eavesdrop, but their conversation was so funny I had to listen. Don't shoot me that look, you would too.

I was so busy laughing that I didn't hear footsteps come up behind me. My hearing isn't so great, anyways. Not like it made any difference.

"MMPH!" A large, bloodstained, tanned hand clamped over my mouth, hoisting me up. Normally, I was strong, despite my little body. But, may I remind you…

Large. Bloodstained. Hand.

Bit of an advantage.

"Heheheheeeee…._Must_ kill, _must_ kill," His hot, beer-tinted breath hit my neck. I couldn't use my weapons in broad daylight, what would people think? I might be hauled away to be tested on! I hate needles!

"I sense it Soul! Over here!" The girl and boy ran out of the alleyway. Let's see, blonde hair, green eyes. Normal, skinny body, fair skin. She looked reasonable. I like reasonable people.

Second person, white hair, red eyes, fangs. A slouched position, jacket, and crooked grin.

This guy was my new favorite.

He was just as weird as me.

"Maka!"

"Right!"

What happened next amazed me enough to want to cry. Soul transformed his whole body into a scythe, being held by Maka. He was just like me! I wasn't alone! Now, I didn't exactly have time to be this happy, considering the fact of Mr. Handsome behind me, holding my throat, with his hands. His blood-freakin-stained hands.

Maka leapt up and swung Soul/Scythe down, trying to cut the man without hurting me. Or, at least that's what I hoped she was doing. You never know.

"What happened Maka?" Okay, so the scythe can talk. Interesting.

"I can't cut him without hurting her. I don't know what to do!" She yelled at her weapon. This was by far the most interesting day of my life. But I hated playing damsel-in-distress for long. It got annoying.

"Dammit! Let. Go. Of. Me!" I transformed my arm into a dagger, stabbing into the guy's arm. He howled in pain and dropped me. The second I hit the ground I sprinted away from him, watching Maka finish the job.

Maka yelled and swung the scythe down onto the man, transforming his body into thousands of tiny black little ribbons. A giant, blue sphere was left in his place.

If the amazement of little Flyk wasn't apparent enough, let me give you a few more hints. First hint: There was a talking red scythe. Second: The scythe transformed into the white-haired god of badass. Third: He. Ate. The. Blue. Thingy.

I repeat: ATE. THE. BLUE. THINGY.

"Ooh, that was a good one," He licked his lips. By now my arms were still in their dagger form. Maka and Soul both looked towards me, raising their eyebrows.

"Where's your meister?" Maka asked. I was confused. What the hell was a meister?

"What's a meister?" I asked. Their jaws dropped two feet.

"Y-You don't know what a meister is?"

"What did I just ask?"

"What's your name?" Maka looked suspicious. Not to say I wasn't too. The shark guy just ate a circle.

"Flyk. Flyk Jewels," I did a mock-bow. Maka and Soul's eyes widened, looking at each other, then me.

"Were your parent's names Martha and Hail Jewels?" Maka took a step closer. My eyebrows furrowed. First, she saves me. Then, she knows my family? How?

"Look if you're looking for them they left me at a boarding school and took off when I was a baby. I can't tell you anything about them," I got it clear for them. My parents were rich. People always tried to get money off me from them.

"Oh," Maka said, "Trust me, that's not what we're after," She and Soul looked at one another, "You have to come with us,"

OOOOOOoooooOOOOOO

"I'm warning you, I can be deadly,"

"Not in there," It was true. There isn't any way to be deadly when you're in a bubble. Especially if it's a giant bubble.

So my situation at the moment consisted of a cartoon-ish grim reaper, Maka, Soul, and a redhead pervert who wouldn't leave Maka alone. Some 'father' he was.

"Why did you have to put me in a bubble?" I screamed and flailed around wildly. The death lord held up a giant hand.

"Now now, my boy-"

"I. AM. A. GIRL!"

"Yes, dear, we brought you hear because of your parents. They've been looking for you for quite a while now," It was really hard to take him seriously with that voice.

I scoffed, "Yeah, sure, they're just a couple of conners trying to get at my inheritance, trust me, I've seen it before," I stayed floating inside the bubble.

The death lord looked comically angry, "You shouldn't talk like that about your own parents, Flyk. How rude," He scolded. I motioned around me.

"Just get me out of the bubble,"

Once I was out I dusted off my pants, though there was no real dust. It's just aesthetically pleasing.

"Well," Lord Death said, looking me over, "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try and jog those memories from so long ago, how about you walk the halls a bit, then you'll remember," He patted my shoulder and steered me out and down the creepy hallway. I was left to walk on my own after that.

For now I was in the dungeons. Well, I called them that, because they were made of stone and were confusing me. That means dungeon in my dictionary. Or school. It meant that too.

"Stop it Ragnarok! Don't hit my head!" I heard a voice wail. I couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl.

"You little brat! You woke me up!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Now please stop I can't deal with you hitting my head!" The voice was coming from the room right next to me, actually. Now, I won't explain what you already know about me eavesdropping.

Except this time, I cut all the crap and opened the door.

I don't usually find things beautiful or interesting. Sometimes, if I'm in a good mood, I might find things cute. But never beautiful.

But this was already an odd day.

A gorgeous boy was in front of me, pink hair (a fellow comrade of hair!) long black cloak/dress thing, and some _thing_ sticking out of his back. My face was a thousand shades of red by then. Had I been weaker, I would have fainted.

"I-I'm sorry, I just heard you and, um…" Crap, I really didn't have an excuse this time. Crona stood up and looked at me, seeming insecure.

"A girl came to my room, Ragnarok," He spoke to the black thing, still looking at me, "Girls never come here. The only girls that come here are Miss Marie and Maka, I don't know how to deal with this!" He clutched at his head, crying anime tears, "Mr. Corner, save me!"

And he dove into the corner.

Nice.

"Uh, sorry?" I tried, walking closer. Something I noticed, he called me a girl. A GIRL.

THIS WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE! Okay, so this chappie sucked. But send me a review if u think I should fix anything. Also, I'd like to that justiceoftheworldhp-yeahright, Excel Fusion, and AWholeJumbleOfThings, you guys rock!**

**Review, or no update! ;)**


	2. Ragnarok's Problem

Chapter Two

Ragnarok's Problem

I am not the kind of person to easily be emotionally affected. Normally, I had the most amazing poker face to ever cross this planet. It works wonders when being questioned by strange men in blue uniforms.

Yeah. Don't ask.

But, you see, with as odd as this day as been, it shouldn't be uncommon for me to act a little out of boundaries for once. Just a little.

"ARE YOU REAL?" Like that.

Crona jumped back to the safety of Mr. Corner. I sweatdropped at my outburst. Okay, so it's not every day that I actually get called a girl. I'm bound to be a little…ecstatic.

"M-Mr. Corner, save meeeee," Crona cried. Somewhere in the world, a vein ticked. Shit. I was jealous of a corner.

Not good.

"I-I'm sorry," I said, trying to go and help him up, "I didn't mean to scare you," Why was I being so nice? I was never nice! I mean, it's me! Flyk! The Terror of All Things Possibly Smaller Than Her! A person like that has no need to be nice!

"Ragnarok, she's scaring me,"

Then again, a person like that has never seen this guy.

Crona risked a look towards me, and then slowly turned around. I really really didn't want him to hate me, but I wasn't so good with others, as you may have noticed. Flyk + Others = The world ending in a ball of burning flames and wreckage.

"Wh-Who are you?" He asked. I tried smiling brightly, did pretty well if you ask me.

"Just call me Flyk," I crouched down to his level. He loosened up and smiled a bit. Me, being me, blushed to the point of no return. Crona kept on smiling.

"Seriously, _this_ is the most action you've gotten in months, Crona!" Ragnarok yelled from his back, "_Do_ something!"

"But I can barley deal with girls in my room, and she just stopped yelling at me! I can't deal with her and you at the same time!" He clutched his head again. I sweatdropped. Maybe my being here wasn't such a good idea at the moment.

"I think I'll…take my leave," I smiled nervously and backed out of the room.

OOOOOOoooooOOOOOO

The school was HUGE.

I mean, bigger-than-life huge.

But apparently not big enough for little Flyk.

"OW!" Fifth wall. The _fifth_ _wall_ I had run into. That had to be a sign. It just wasn't natural.

Then again, if every non-natural thing was a sign, then I sure as hell couldn't get lost right now.

"HAH!" A loud voice, great. Just another thing to put on Flyk's headache, "YOU SEE THAT TSUBAKI? I JUST DESTROYED THE ENTIRE WALL! ONLY A STAR COULD DO THAT AHAHAHAHAHAA! BEAT THAT MAKA!" The strange voice laughed some more. That was it. I already had a big enough headache. I didn't need this idiot bragging about something I could do in my sleep. With a jackhammer.

"Black Star," That was Maka's voice, and it got louder as I walked closer, "You weren't supposed to destroy the wall, I asked if you could swat the fly,"

"TROLOLOLOLOLOL! I DID SWAT THAT FLY AND I SWAT IT GOOOOOOOOOOD! HAHAHAA! THE FLY HAS BOWED DOWN TO THE AWESOMNESS OF BLACK STAR!" He continued laughing. I was just about at my breaking point.

Walking into the room, I spotted Maka and Soul sweatdropping, with a kid who had the same color hair as me, still laughing. If this kid wasn't so obnoxious, I might have liked him. His hair was awesome.

"TROLOLOLOLOLOLO…"

His voice, was not.

"NO MORE INSECTS DARE TO TREAD UPON HERE!" He laughed. I walked in front of him, pointing to his forehead,

"What about the beetle on your face?"

That did the trick.

Black Star looked angry, crossing his eyes to slay the beetle. "ARRRRRGH! HOW DARE YOU TREAD UPON MY BEAUTIFUL FACE, YOU INSECT! YOU WORM!"

"It's a beetle,"

"JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET YOUUUUUU! DAMN BUG! TAKE THIS, AND THIS!" He punched himself. Square. In. The. Eyes.

I turned away from the sight and the sound of Soul's laughter. Sure enough, he was snickering, along with Maka. I laughed too, watching Black Star continue to pound his own face in.

"G-Good one, Flyk," Maka said, giggling. I noticed Soul look at her and blush. I smiled. Plan in motion.

"Thanks, Maka!" I grinned brightly. I nonchalantly motioned towards Soul and her at the same time, leaning in super-secret style to Maka, "You have _got_ to give me some tips, where _do_ you get your guys?" I smiled once more. Maka turned about fifty shades of red.

"I-I-I-I-I don't know what your t-talking about!" She stuttered, looking nervously from her book back to Soul. I giggled girlishly.

"Ok then, my mistake!"

And with that I left the room, prepared to explore.

OOOOOOoooooOOOOOO

_**Crona P.O.V.**_

__Flyk was new. I couldn't deal with new things. They scared me. Maybe I could deal with Flyk when she wasn't new anymore. But she was still a girl! I can't deal with girls! Only Maka and Miss Marie I can deal with!

Ragnarok watched as Flyk nervously exited the room. I scared her off.

How do I deal with that?

"Well she was a cute one," Ragnarok commented once she left. I don't know how to deal with blushing.

"W-W-Why did she try and attack me when I called her a girl?" I asked. Ragnarok shrugged. I thought to myself. What if she didn't like being called a girl? What if she thought it made her weak? Oooohhhhh, I don't know how to deal with insulting people, I just don't!

"You probably shouldn't call her a girl next time, though," Ragnarok said. I nodded.

"But she does look like girl, I can't deal with lying to people again!"

"Well you'll have to deal with it! She probably could whoop your ass!"

"But she's too pretty to be a boy!"

"I said you'll have to deal wi- Wait what?"

Ragnarok looked confused,. I gulped, not knowing how to deal with confusion.

Pardon me if that was ironic.

"I-I said she's too pretty to be a boy,"

"You're one to talk about gender,"

"Don't say thaaaat," I tried not to cry. Ragnarok beat me up if I cried.

"And you like Flyk? Finally! You can get some action!" He cheered. I looked up at him, sighing.

"But I don't know how to deal with crushes,"

_**Flyk P.O.V.**_

I normally wasn't all that judgmental. Then again, there weren't many people I could judge. Not that I cared, anyway. But if there was one type of person who annoyed me the most, it was OCD.

Because they always hated _me_.

"Gah!" And who do you think I run into?

"Completely unsymmetrical!" Lord of All OCD Things.

"Well, sorry," I said, glaring at him, "I like to be creative," Just to irk him, I smirked, smiling to one side only. He blew his lid.

"I have never seen such impudence! How do you bear with the horror?" He went on and on after that. I didn't even bother to learn his name.

OOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOO

By now I felt like I had been introduced to the whole school. That's right, I even counted Sire Symmetry back there. Now, if only I could find the person in charge here, and sort this whole thing about my parents out, maybe I could-

"*_SPLAT_*"

Pie. In my face.

There is a pie. ON. MY. FACE.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAAA, THAT IS WHAT YOU GET FOR TRICKING THE AMAZING BLACK STAR! I admit, you get credit for being able to outsmart me, BUT THAT IS ALL YOU WILL EVER RECEIVE! MUAHAHAHAHAA! NOW BEND OVER AND KISS MY SHOES!" He laughed at me as I wiped the sweets of my forehead. He did it now. And, judging by the looks of everybody else around him, they knew what was coming.

"Black Star, was it?" I said. He smirked and looked at me.

"Yeah?"

"Is there a God?"

OOOOOOoooooOOOOOO

I will so graciously advise you on this: Do NOT mess with Flyka Jewels. Midgets can be dangerous.

I made my daggers turn back into arms. Black Star laid there, with a swollen everything, just waiting for his next beating.

"I…wasn't…ready," He panted out. I smirked, leaning down.

"I don't like pie,"

Waking back, I ignored his scream of, "THIS ISN'T OVER, STRANGER!" And walked straight back into the building. Man it was hot out there. I much prefer the shade.

What surprised me was the fact that Crona was walking around in the school hallways, probably because no one was around due to the fight between me Captain Modesty out there. Crona looked around nervously before spotting me, smiling, and humbly walking over to greet me.

"H-Hi, Flyk," He said. I was just about to faint. Why, why did he have to be sooooooo good looking? It was totally not fair! He even had pink hair, and it made him _more_ gorgeous! Not cool!

"F-Flyk?" He questioned, looking at me warily, "Why are you glaring at me like that?" He looked about ready to cry. Shit. I straightened up my face and smiled.

"Sorry, lost in thought," What thought? My brain specifically functioned to do one and one things only: Gawk at him. It wasn't doing its main purpose now. It was actually thinking.

"W-Well, um," Crona twiddled his hands nervously, "I…I wanted too…" My ears perked up doggy-style.

"YES- I mean, ehem, yes?"

"I mean, about you and all…"

"Uh huh?" Hopefulness!

"I just wanted to say…"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for calling you a girl!"

"I feel the exact same wa- _what_?"

Crona nervously giggled, scratching his head, "I'm so sorry, I just don't know how to deal with girls very much yet!" That was now obvious, "I really don't think you're weak at all! Y-you are the least girly person ever! S-So please forgive me!" He bowed down. I was struck still at this point.

"Ehh, uh, ehem," Very intelligent response.

Crona smiled, backing off, "If you'll excuse me, I have to be somewhere, bye Flyk," He shyly waved before walking off, Ragnarok at his back. My jaw continued on course south.

_**Crona P.O.V.**_

I smiled as I walked away from Flyk. She seemed happy that I apologized to her. Now she won't feel girly anymore. Maybe she could deal with that.

Ragnarok popped out of my back, "I don't like complimenting you," He said, "But that was a _job_, kid. The ladies love the compliments, maybe you'll even score a little more, if you know what I mean," He elbowed me in my head, a little too hard for my liking.

"No, Ragnarok, I don't know what you mean, and stop that! I can't deal with you elbowing my head!" He laughed and elbowed harder.

"What I mean, kid, maybe you could get her closer, you know, a little a' this, that, maybe even…" He leaned over to whisper in my ear. I don't think I could deal with repeating what he said.

"Ragnarok!" I yelled. He laughed. I felt tears sting my eyes as he drove his fist repeatedly into my skull.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" I couldn't deal with fighting back to him, so I just had to deal with him for now.

"Suck it up, ya baby," He laughed some more.

I sighed, feeling a blush creep on from his earlier whispering.

How do I deal with Flyk?

**AUTHOR'S AMAZING NOTES! Alrighty now, I shall announce my thoughts!**

…

…

**And what would those be again?**

**Flyk: I feel your pain, fellow idiot…**

**Maka: WHY AM I BLUSHING AT SOUL?**

**Soul: WHY AM I BLUSHING AT MAKA?**

**Me: Because I couldn't resist. And I had a cookie.**

**REVIEW, OR NO MORE FANFICTION OR AWESOME MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

**Yeah, I had a lot of cookies.**


	3. Apples

Chapter Three

How Far Did the Apple Fall from the Tree?

If you think that the world is a boring place, you have never seen me eat. It is the most amazing and beautiful sight to ever cross this earth. With how delicately I place the chicken in my mouth-

"NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM-"

And how gently I drink from my glass-

"GUUULP-"

I am a true lady indeed.

Everybody was watching me, in awe of my eating skills. OCD Lord had his mouth hanging open, Maka and Soul were taking bets on which meal I would finish first, and Black Star was sulking in a corner because I could eat more than him.

"Woah, Flyk," Maka said, "You eat really fast,"

"Likeaboss," I repeated. Everyone sweatdropped. I sighed, not really feeling into it that day. Crona was nowhere to be found, though I didn't actually know what I was going to say to him, the thought didn't cross my mind at the moment.

"Flyk?" Maka asked, "What's wrong? You look kinda down," She frowned. I quickly put a smile back on my face, waving my hand up and down.

"Oh no, I'm fine. By the way, have you seen Crona?" I motioned around for emphasis. Maka shook her pigtails.

"Nope. Though I think he might be at the library, he's recently taken to that place a lot- FLYK! WHERE ARE YOU?"

I learned that day that I could run very, very fast.

OOOOOOoooooOOOOOO

"NO!"

"Come on, you're absolutely perfect-"

"No means HELL NO! PERVERT! RAPE!" I always hated science. Now I have yet another reason.

Pervert, a.k.a. Dr. Stein, has this creepy obsession with dissection. Just my luck to run into him, and find out that I'm 'perfect experiment materiel," I didn't even bother taking it as an insult.

I scrambled away from him, wondering how I always managed to run into the weirdoes in the _hallway_. I mean, what was wrong with a room full of witnesses? At least something I can justify my horror on.

"Come on, little library, where are you?" I wondered out loud. My brain didn't think at the moment that I never knew where the library was in the first place, but that wasn't the problem at the time.

Maka and Soul said that I was going to have to meet my real parents soon. My heart sped up with the thought. Would I? With all that's happened here, I couldn't really shrug off the thought. They might be here, in Death City, waiting for their daughter to come home. Did I have a sister? A brother? They probably had a dog. Or a cat. Those would be nice too-

"OW!"

Yes. I bumped into someone.

"O-oh! I-I'm so sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going and- oh, it's you!"

There. Is. A. God.

"C-Crona!" I said happily. He smiled a cute little smile.

"H-Hello, Flyk," He said softly. The moment was amazing until Ragnarok popped out of his back.

"Hey, bitch!" He said, "Move it! Stein will try to experiment me again if Crona and I are late! Now _vamanos_!" He moved his hands in a shooing motion. I glared at him, holding up my fist.

"Trust me, you are enough of an experiment already!" I yelled, trying to hit his face. Ragnarok stuck his tongue out and pulled my blue pigtails, only to get whacked by my fist.

"Whore!"

"Freak!"

"Midget!"

"OH IT'S ON BITCH!"

OOOOOOoooooOOOOOO

"I'm sorry Crona…" I said. He looked at me and shakily smiled, sweatdropping.

"I-It's alright, Flyk, I never knew you could hit that hard,"

I sighed with depression as I placed the icepack on his cheek.

"You wouldn't have had to if you hadn't moved,"

"W-Well i-ironically enough, I was moving so I wouldn't get hit, hehehe…" He nervously chuckled. I laughed with him.

"So, how's life for ya?" I asked. Crona looked at me, blushing a bit. I had no idea at what though.

"It's been a lot better, actually,"

"Oh get a room!" Ragnarok yelled. I glared at him and the large whelp he now sported on his nose…er...thing.

"Shut the hell up, Ragnarok," I said, turning back to Crona. He laughed a little at my comment.

"Crona," I started, taking the icepack off, "I was wondering, when I go to meet my parents, could you come with me?" I really hoped he would. Crona was the only person at this school I could really trust beside Maka.

"S-Sure,"

I cheered, "YAAAAA BITCHES! I GOT THE LORD OF PINK TO COME WITH ME, TAKE THAT!" I pumped my fists in the air. Crona looked scared of me. Wouldn't be the first time.

"Flyk?" I heard Maka call. I turned around, seeing the familiar meister and her weapon.

"Yeah?"

"It's time to meet your parents,"

"I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this," That amazing mantra was repeated by yours truly the entire ride to my parents house. To tell the truth, I was scared out of my wits. What if they were bad people? Secret drug dealers? Mafia? But then I calmed myself down by thinking that Maka and the others wouldn't take me to them if they were bad.

"Well, we're here," Maka said, getting off the bus. Why we didn't just use one of her fancy portals, I don't know.

"I can't do this," I said. Crona looked at me, smiling gently and taking my hand.

"I-It'll be alright, F-Flyk," He said. Somehow that wasn't very comforting.

"I hope," I muttered.

Crona led me to the front door, all the while I was trying to think of good escape plans.

"I think you should push the doorbell, Flyk," Maka said. I gulped, shakily reaching my finger up to the button. Just as I was about to pull back and say "I can't, you do it," I lost my balance and _fell_ on the doorbell.

Not. Happy.

"It's now or n-never," Crona said. I got up, squeezing his hand tighter. All the while pictures of what my parents really looked like flashed through my mind. I didn't know which one to pick.

The doorknob turned.

The door opened.

A person emerged through the door, dressed in beige. My eyes widened.

Mom.

"F-Flyk?" She asked warily. I couldn't breathe. Crona lightly patted my back, giving me a sympathetic look. I smiled. Everyone was trying so hard to cheer me up. I couldn't let their efforts go to waste.

"It's me, m-m-mom," I said, taking a step forward. She gasped, tears coming to her eyes. I quickly did an analysis of her looks:

Black hair with white streaks running through it, and icy blue eyes that were watery with even more tears. Chocolate skin like mine, with small, frail hands. I smiled even more. Mother.

"Please," she said, "Please don't let this be a joke, or a dream, or anything else!" All of the sudden she shot forward and hugged me. Now I couldn't breathe for another reason. This woman was strong.

"H-Help," I managed to Crona and Maka.

They both just stood there with T.T looks on their faces.

My mom pulled back and took a deep, calming breath. I thought she was about to start talking normally when I suddenly heard,

"FLYKA GREEN JEWELS WHAT WERE YOU THINKING YOUNG LADY? YOU WERE SO DISRESPECTFUL, JUMPING OUT THE SCHOOL WINDOW LIKE THAT! COULDN'T YOU HAVE FOLLOWED YOUR MOTHER AND STORMED OUT BY THE DOOR?"

And now I see which tree the apple came from.

"H-How did you even know I did that?" I asked, still in shock. Mother clucked with her tongue.

"You think they didn't send me a report of your actions? Honestly, that school was dreadful but you could have at least left in a more normal way, then again, you aren't a normal girl," She grabbed my hands, "You can still turn into a dagger, I presume?"

"H-How do you know that?"

"I'm your mother, sweetie, I've known ever since I found you hanging on the brick wall, when I was playing with you, threw you a _bit_ too high, and you panicked, so you thrust your arm out and turned it into a tiny little dagger, strong enough to penetrate brick and keep you there until we got a ladder,"

With every word my jaw got lower and lower and lower.

"I…" My voice squeaked, "In the brick wall?"

She giggled, "Yep,"

"Oh dear God,"

OOOOOOoooooOOOOOO

"So, where's dad?" I questioned. Mom sat there, after everyone had left.

"He'll be home from work in a couple of hours,"

"What does he do?"

She looked at me, smiling like she was about to say the most normal thing in the world,

"He's an Undertaker,"

…

…

"An Undertaker?"

"Yep,"

"Uh, mom," I started, one hand up like I was asking a question.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"You see…" I nervously scratched the back of my head, "…THAT'S TOTALLY AWESOME! THANK GOD HE'S NOT A STUPID ACCOUTANT OR SOMETHING! YEAH BITCHES!"

Now normally you would think she would stand up and tell me not to cuss, but instead….

Mom stood up from her knitting, giving me a high-five, "HELLY YEAH! DOUCHEBAGS CAN SUCK IT!"

I had the best mom in the world.

The Next Day:

"H-Hello Flyk," Crona said as I walked beside him. I smiled back, happier than ever.

"Heeeelooooo Crona," I said, grinning like an idiot. Ever since I had come to Death City, my life had been ten times better than heaven.

"H-How's your day been?" He asked. I shrugged, keeping my books pressed to my chest.

"Okay, I guess, Mr. Stein tried to rape me in the name of science again, but other than that…great!"

Crona sweatdropped, looking nervous again.

"R-Rape you? Flyk that's terrible!" He fussed over me, nervously stuttering and all that. Now it was my turn to sweatdrop. He thought I was serious?

I laughed, putting my hands up, "Dude, chill. I was joking. Anyway, today's actually really big for me, wanna know why?" I leaned in. Crona turned red for some odd reason and stuttered again.

"W-Why?"

"Apparently I'm the only weapon at this school without a meister. They want to pair me up as quickly as possible and get started on 'training me'" I put air quotes up then gagged, "Makes me sound like a frickin' toddler,"

To my surprise Crona actually started laughing! And not the cute little chuckle he always does, but a full-blown cackle! Now, of course, it was the prettiest tune I had ever heard in my life, but still! Damn the boy had surprises.

"I-I'm s-sorry," He gasped, clutching his stomach, "S-Something about th-the way y-you said that was so funny!" He stopped after a while, brushing away tears.

My eyes were as wide as the pancakes Mom made for me (Those thing were HUGE!) as I looked over Crona. He gave me a cheerful smile, then walked along to class, like everything was normal.

All the while, the only thoughts in my head are _Oh shiz nitch, I'm in love with a pinkette!_

OOOOOOoooooOOOOOO

I entered the classroom like any other normal day. Any other normal day where I didn't just hear Crona laugh, just met my mom, found out why I have no fear of heights, etc.

"Flyk, please take your seat," The teacher said to me. She pointed to a seat in the middle of the classroom, where everybody could see me, "Today is the day we pick a meister for little" _Twitch_, "Flyk here. Will Crona please come up to the chair?"

My face was one of shock. How much luck was I going to have today? It was really starting to freak me out, considering karma and all that…

"B-But, I already have a weapon!" Crona weakly said. My mood went down a little.

"True," Teacher (she will not be named…sorry ^_^) said, "But you need a human weapon as well. Someone who can understand other's emotions a little better,"

At this Ragnarok popped out of Crona's back, "Hey! I can understand plenty!"

"No you can't," Was the class's entire response.

Crona looked to me, smiling weakly. My mood went down even more. Did he not want me as a partner?

"Hey, Crona," I said once class was over, "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Crona looked at me, nodding.

"S-Sure,"

When everybody had cleared, I looked him in the eyes, "Crona, do you not want me as a weapon?"

Crona's eyes went wide before he rapidly shook his head, "No! I would love to have you, Flyk! I just am worried a-about d-disappointing you, you know?" He twiddled his thumbs and looked up at me. I gulped. I couldn't fall much more for this guy. Last time that happened, it didn't exactly end well.

I shuddered. No. I wouldn't think of that.

"Flyk?" Crona asked, looking concerned, "Are you okay?"

"Hm? Yeah, yeah I'm fine," I said, running a hand through my hair. Crona looked relieved.

"I'm s-sorry anyway for confusing you, but…" He looked at me. I gulped again.

"What?"

"…Would it be alright…if I gave you a hug right now?"

…

…

Must. Not. Marry. Crona.

"O-Okay, but why?"

"P-Please don't ask why, but thank you," He said, wrapping his arms around me. I was shocked when I felt the tiniest bit of definition in his chest, like a kind-sorta worked out. His arms were a lot stronger than the petite look they gave off.

The bad thing was, this was only the second time I was ever hugged by a guy. The first- I shuddered again. Don't think of it…

I wrapped my arms around Crona all the same.

"You are by far the weirdest boy I have ever met,"

**Author's note:**

**So I haven't been working on this story very much lately, mostly because I was having so much fun with another one (makes it sound like I'm cheating on them,) But anyways, if you have ANY ideas at all for the story, send them to me and I promise I'll consider them! Review, or I won't update! Sorry Crona was so OOC in this chappie, it just kinda came and went!~**

**Also, ideas on Flyk's undertaker dad?**


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